On July 2, 2026, The New York Times published Older Adults Aren’t Staying in ‘Empty Shelf’ Marriages, proclaiming that forty percent of divorces occur among couples who are 50 years of age or older. Indeed, the article goes a step further, relating that divorce rates have been dropping among all age groups except for those who are 65 or older. Naturally one can debate the statistical importance of the increased divorce rate among those of retirement age, concluding that the increased rate is attributable to more divorces in a group who were previously divorcing at an infrequent rate. Thus, the argument can go, people living longer, feeling healthier and looking forward to their future and therefore divorce presents an option that was previously not feasible. Regardless of the whys and wherefores for the increase in gray and even grayer divorces, the media considers the new trend a newsworthy development. The Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly also called attention to the “gray divorce” on August 24, 2026 in an article entitled Thorny issues test bar amid rising tide of ‘gray divorces.’ Call it “rising tide” or “increased percentage,” the message is the same– the ranks of those petitioning for divorce is swelling with individuals who previously stayed together until death do us part. Attention to this new development is important if for no other reason than divorce in later life has many different implications for individuals — different concerns, different needs, different priorities. And, “different” means that couples who are divorcing need help in navigating a settlement that looks not only at the present dilemmas relevant to age and finances, but also into a future well past the years of retirement.
Older couples may no longer have to structure parenting schedules or worry how to fund college, but they may want to make financial provisions for grandchildren or agree to stipulate beneficiary terms for their adult children or may even have adult children with special needs that require ongoing care or “special needs trusts” to provide for financial assistance after the death of parents. And, that is just a sampling of some possible lingering “kid-related” questions. There are also concerns for each spouse’s health needs and costs, now and in the future. What if only one spouse has a long-term care policy? Does the divorce agreement include financial terms for the other spouse’s long-term care or compensation for the policy in some form or other. Hence too there are questions relating to retirement. What if one spouse is drawing on a pension that does not have survivorship rights? What about the other spouse’s ability to finance his/her needs in retirement? What if one spouse wants to work and the other wants to retire?
The questions are many. The answers depend on the needs and wants of the couple and of course the state of their finances. Some couples have the resouces to fund one’s present and future needs even if their goals and needs are divergent. The “trick” here is to create a settlement that addresses the similarities and the differences in each party’s present and future priorities. For couples with limited resources, the task is to strategize, envisioning scenarios that focus on limiting negative tax implications by focusing on timing issues as well as the allocation of resources.
Naturally the ages of the spouses play a major role in designing solution options. There are also couples whose ages may be disparate, even very disparate. Alimony is very dependent on the age of the paying spouse. For example, if the paying spouse is 65 and the recipient spouse is 52 there is a limitation on the years that alimony will be paid, even if the older spouse agrees to pay support beyond the age limitation in the Massachusetts Alimony Law.
Mediation offers couples a safe and confidential climate for navigating a path forward, a path that includes each party’s present and future needs and priorities. The mediator’s role is to facilitate the dialogue and to help the couple engage in identifying the issues to be resolved and the options available to them. The problem-solving nature of mediation, in and of itself, supplies the tools and the environment for tackling thorny questions in a rational setting.
